It’s okay, Congressman Vance McAllister, we all remember our freshman make out sessions under the bleachers. #getsome
We know how these things go:
1) You watch the security tape that leaked showing you getting hot and heavy with a staffer and then fire another staffer who ‘allowed’ your indiscretion to become public. #neverchangeCongress
2) Therapy for you and your wife who you just entered into the elite club of women duped into marrying asshole politicians who are quick to apologize only after getting caught with their hands up a skirt.
3) If the marriage is salvageable after you pay her Kennedy-style hush money, you’ll probably be checking into rehab soon for “alcoholism,” just as Trey Radel did to cure him of being an obvious coke-head.
But before you go off to rehab or to a confessional, we just wanted to let you know our host, Matt Laslo, studied to be a pastor in another life. He’s willing to sit you down with a craft beer from your district and let you lay out all the sins weighing you down. We’re here for you bro!
But there’s one rule: you have to promise not to make any moves on our staff.
Bills and Brews Staff